We realize more and more that expatriation often generates problems in the couple which range from a simple temporary breakdown in communication to more serious situations which can lead to a separation or even a divorce.
Expatriation, revealing couple!
Already before the expatriation the balance of certain couples can be fragile and many believe that by breaking the daily routine, the couple will find themselves, strengthen themselves, and that this expatriation will solve the underlying problems, especially when we go to places with a mild climate, beach and coconut trees, all the clichés of expatriation. From the start of the project, everyone has personal and professional expectations that are sometimes unacknowledged, not clarified, not communicated within the couple.
We will see on the spot….The spouse has to leave a job, worries about his future, focuses on his couple and has very high expectations in this regard. The reality on site is quite different, because as we know, expatriate employees do not work 35 hours and travel a lot, resulting in very strong disillusionment in relation to expectations.
The couple will experience difficult times, moments of joy and above all situations that are new for both of them. Everything is called into question, the roles will be upset, the balance of power will change, and everything can take on much stronger proportions than in France because both of them no longer have the support of the family circle and friendly, so everyone counts on each other.
How expatriation strengthens the couple ?
Before leaving, it’s time to reshuffle the cards and clearly outline a common expatriation project and tell each other what each other expects. Talk about the commitment you made to each other, and ask yourself what one can do for the other to make the project succeed. This is the basis of a good start.
This video recounts these facts :
Arrived on site, and during the stay give yourself new freedoms together, discover new regions, new landscapes, and new sensations. Go out and find activities together or with friends, have fun, and escape the daily grind. Talk, exchange, communicate…
Be proactive if you have a desire, an idea! Do not wait for the other to propose, be a driving force in your couple… Surprise the other and he will do it in return. Do not live in a state of permanent frustration because the other does not do this or that.
The woman or the man who follows his expatriate spouse must put aside his professional or other project. If the first months of the stay dissipate the fears in relation to the career, the questioning reappears quickly. It is therefore important not to underestimate the need for the expatriate spouse (accompanying them) to think before departure about how they can maintain their expatriation skills and subsequently transform the adventure into a new skill.